Who am I? I'm Jean Valjean! Oh wait... no I'm not...

I am not going to apologize for my blatant lack of posts. I am not doing it! And I won't feel bad that I threw it out there that I'm getting a divorce and then didn't update as to how it's all going. No sir! No guilt here! None. At all...

So I've had a lot happen in the past month.

I may end up whining quite a bit in this post so feel free to roll your eyes and scroll down if that ends up being the case. :) And I don't have pictures. There are 2 reasons for that. The first one is that somewhere in between leaving the house and moving into the apartment, I lost the cable that connects my camera to my computer. But that was ok because my mom decided to get a new computer that came with a printer that had an SD card reader on it. When it stopped being ok is when my mom went into a menopausal fit and moved out. Taking the computer (with my pictures, music and work stuff on it) with her. I'm on my laptop at the moment so I can do the basics easily enough, but it's a MacBook, which means there's not a WHOLE lot of free space for pictures, music, and websites, and I can't use the same programs for work anyway. (But I will take this moment to say how much I LOVE my Mac!)

I think that was a run on sentence but I really don't care right now because the important thing is that I'm blogging! Which reminds me... I think I'm going to revamp my blog layout too... First things first though... must finish the entry...

ANYWAY

Things I need to talk about:

Josh
Marie
Work
Kyle
Mom
Elise
Alanon
Lisa's new book

I'll tackle at least some of these topics right now...

As far as the divorce goes, Josh has decided to walk away. He feels that it would be in the best interest of the kids if he were no longer in their life. I have to say that I don't hate him, and I tried to give him an out. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" But he is sure. So even though everything isn't signed yet, he is already taking down all the pictures of the kids and is going to put everything of Marie's in my garage. I do honestly wish him all the best. I hope that he is able to put his issues behind him. Learning the things that I'm learning in Alanon, though, I don't know if he will. I truly do hope so, though. I still care about him as a human being, ya know? I don't like when people have to suffer.

Oh. Why am I letting him walk away from his responsibility, you ask? WELL.... Marie isn't his biological child. Yep. Let the controversial and/or hate comments begin! By the way, I know bio-dad is reading this. I need you to contact me please. I'm trying to get in touch with you... (Who wants the odds on whether he'll respond?)

That's right ladies and gentlemen! Real life! Putting it out there for all to see!

OK next topic...

Work has been kind of slow as far as parties are concerned. I've been working alot of restaurants, but the whole single mom thing takes some getting used to again. I'm still about a $100 short of rent... and I have to pay registration... and I had a ticket that i need to take care of before February 7th or else I get a warrant put out on me... ugh... what a pain... It's so funny because I'm so NOT that kind of person. It was a parking ticket that I kind of dropped the ball on. Well... I TOTALLY dropped the ball, I guess. But I can only fix as much as I can, when I can, ya know?

Michele (my "boss") is starting this new marketing thing where we can make more money by getting more accounts. I'm really excited about it, but I'm just not that great at sales. We'll have to see how it all goes. I'm supposed to be doing a database for her for a newsletter and email list. I'm working on it. It's a new thing though and I'm still climbing the learning curve. There's so much I want to do and my brain can't assimilate it all so I end up getting overwhelmed. I just have to keep telling myself to do one thing at a time. One day at a time. It's hard! I'm not complaining, though. Just commenting.

I'm going to skip talking about Kyle to talk about my mom first.

My mom is a control freak in the strongest sense of the word. She was really supportive when I was leaving Josh, and was really helpful with babysitting so that I could work. She moved in with me and the kids and was really great when it came to talking to the lawyer and helping me figure out what to do next. Well, every Sunday I have this Alanon meeting that I go to from 11-12. It's written in the calendar on the fridge and has been since the beginning of the month. (We're talking about January, here.) I'd also like to add that the calendar was her request so that she would know what my schedule would be seeing as how it's different every week. Well, last Sunday she left the house in the morning to go pay her car payment. She called about 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave for the meeting to tell me that she was going to run some more errands. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: "But I have to leave for my meeting."
Mom: "What meeting?"
Me: "My Alanon meeting."
Mom: "When is that?"
Me: "11 o'clock."
Mom: (upset) "Why didn't you tell me before I left?"
Me: "Well I thought you knew. It was on the calendar."
Mom: "How was I supposed to know? Your schedule changes every day!"
Me: "It's been on the calendar since the 1st!"
Mom: "Well, I don't look at that thing!"
Me: "Alright well, don't worry about it I just won't go."
Mom: "No, it's fine I'll be there as soon as I can!"

When she got home it was too late to go, which is fine because it's not like I HAVE to be there. But when I didn't leave as soon as she got here, she started yelling at me and telling me how I was a selfish bitch and I don't care about anyone else. One of her exact phrases was "You know, Josh was right. He said two things about you: that you're a selfish bitch and that you're a follower." All this time she was taking things out and throwing them in a pile. "I'm done, Keri. I'd rather live on the fucking street than live with you anymore!" She took all the dishes and silverware that she bought "for the apartment" and put them in a pile. She folded up the table and chairs that she bought "because we needed them" and unhooked the computer and took that too. Now, when we left the house she told me not to take anything like dishes or furniture because we were going to start off with "new and nicer" things. So it was quite the drama. This whole time she's yelling at me and literally shaking because she was so mad. I just sat there, calm and quiet, and let her do her thing. She later offered me the computer for $500 cash, which she knows I wouldn't have. When I asked her where I was supposed to get that, do you know what she said? "Why don't you borrow it from Mark?" As in, an ex-boyfriend of mine from over 5 years ago. Right?

So the whole point is that when I started getting my life organized and wasn't relying on her so much, she flipped out. She wasn't in control of everything anymore and I think that made her crazy. What's really funny is that she ended up getting an apartment in the same complex as me. So she's literally 3o seconds away.

Wow I'm exhausted. And this post is REALLY long. I'm going to try to post more often, so hopefully I'll write about the rest of the stuff on the list soon.

Good night!